Is there only one way to pray?

Growing up Catholic, and attending parochial school for first through twelfth grades, it was most customary to pray the Lord’s Prayer and the Hail Mary. These were the ‘go-to’ prayers spoken in school and church. Of course, there were additional prayers confined to Sunday mass, plus specific prayers for the variety of feast days centered around a Saint or two. It was common during Lent, for instance, or at a funeral wake, to pray the Rosary.

My maternal grandmother, Oliva, was the consummate ‘Rosarian.’ Born at the very end of the nineteenth century, she grew up when praying the Rosary was extremely common. In those days, churches and religion were the center of daily life. It was common for virtually everyone to attend church regularly, often multiple times a week. As my grandmother aged, it wasn’t uncommon for her to pray the Rosary morning, noon, and night; her rosary beads were always in her dress pocket or very near at hand.

As times have changed, society has definitely seen a decline in church attendance, and the corresponding rise of people claiming to be ‘spiritual, not religious.’ I’d venture to say that those who continue to say the rosary today likely tend to be significantly older than the norm, or pray the rosary only in certain circumstances where they feel the need for added spiritual assistance in dealing with the traumas, tragedies and uncertainties of life.

Are memorized prayers the BEST way to pray?

So, the question today is whether praying the rosary and other forms of memorized prayer is the most effective way to pray. Like so many things in life, my personal answer would be ‘It depends.’ When you recite those prayers are you thinking about the intent and meaning of the words you are saying? Or is it more of the ‘Say 5 Hail Mary’s and an act of contrition and your sins will be forgiven’ type process? All of us have likely prayed using the ‘race-car method’ at some point in our life; the ‘say it quick’ and let’s get back to enjoying the day way.

I view prayer as more of a ‘conversation’ with Spirit rather than an obligation. We are all connected to God (Source, the Universe, or whatever name you choose to call God). Plus, we are connected to our individual Guides and Angels who help ensure we remain on the life path we originally set out to live, as well as help us maintain our overall moral compass. The little voice in our head giving us little hints (the good ones, at least) throughout the day often come from them. They are our ‘Team,’ who work together with us in unison. They have every respect for the struggles that we face in life, and like all Spiritual Beings are non-judgmental about our perceived shortcomings.

When I pray for someone who is sick or facing some difficult challenges in life, I always ask for an outcome for their ‘greatest and highest good.’ Often the optimum outcome is unknown to us in the conscious world. And even if we desperately want a certain outcome often our life path and plan will hold the key to how things actually unfold. I always pray that all discomfort and pain be minimized in these situations.

If you are praying for someone who has passed, talk to them!  They are closer than you can ever fathom and they hear everything you say and will answer if you are open to receive them and perceptive enough to recognize the signs. Always look for those ‘love signs’ that they are around you. You will likely receive many messages that way.

I like to think of prayer as both a personal action, that depending on its intent, also has a profound effect on the mass consciousness. Imagine a world where everyone prays for peace; how could it not come about? Or if the masses simply refuse to fight someone else’s war? I always view war with sadness that countries send their young to fight in battles that neither side’s youth wants to fight.

Around the time I was graduating from high school, the Vietnam War was still in full force, the draft was a reality for hundreds of thousands of young American men. I remember the dread of receiving my draft card as I neared my 18th birthday. I was 43rd in the rotation to be drafted. I prayed that if I were to win the lottery it would never be that one! I had dreams of someone placing a gun in my hand that I simply could never fire. I would have been very bad at war. Luckily my prayers, and the prayers of countless other families, were answered and the military draft was ended before I was ever called to serve.

Modern-day prayer

In today’s world, it is likely more common to do what I’m going to call ‘intentional’ praying. By that I mean, having a specific purpose for our prayers or actions, and speaking directly to that purpose. We should never—even though we’ve likely all done it—negotiate with God in our prayers (If you do this for me, I’ll do this for you!). I always try to pray for the right reason.

Prayer can take many forms. Taking a walk in nature, and having an appreciation for the beauty of this world, is a form of prayer. It’s connecting to the universe we are all a part of. Likewise, having gratitude for all the blessings we have in our lives is a form of prayer. Often, society focuses its attention on what is lacking or bad in our lives, as opposed to all the good that surrounds us. When we stop to see the struggles that many, many people face in life, we can be thankful that our challenges are so small in comparison.

In any prayer practice, never forget about the breath. Deep, conscious, and connected breathing is a certain way to reach the depths of your spiritual connection. Breath is life. A breath-work practice has been shown to have healing abilities both on a physical and even a psychological basis. It can move and heal massive amounts of energy with regular practice.

If you’ve never taken the time to meditate, try it. I don’t believe there is a right way to meditate for all people. Learn to simply sit and be in the moment. Focus on your breath and have that appreciation that you are part of something so much greater than you can imagine with our human minds. Can’t sit still? Garden, create art, listen to music without other distractions. Let your mind rest and be able to take in those thoughts that seemingly arise from nowhere. Or do yoga, tai chi, and other similar intentional movement practices. Find what works for you! Avoid judgment and comparison to what others say or do themselves.

All of our life experiences, believe it or not, are a blessing that assists us in moving forward on our spiritual path. A simple act of kindness bestowed upon another is an unconscious prayer acknowledging the Divine in another and thanks for the experience of being a part of human life.