Many would think that someone who had a successful career would never resign his position without a real ‘plan’ for what lay ahead. In 2013, having spent 2-1/2 years as the chief executive officer of a small marketing firm in the NYC metropolitan area of southwestern Connecticut, I was good at my job, respected by my peers, my employees and clients, and yet, I was fully aware that I wasn’t doing what my soul required of me.
Over the course of my nearly 6 decades of life, I had already discovered with a high level of certainty that the ‘Universe’ (fill in whatever name you like for God… Source, Creator, Spirit, Guides, Teachers, Angels, or any other spiritual being that you believe in or who watches over you) has a certain way of letting me know when it’s time to do something different. I often refer to it as the ‘Spiritual 2×4’ that whacks you aside the head and says ‘It’s time for a change!’ It’s that uneasiness that nags at you constantly. Seemingly, demanding action on your part. Time to get out of a rut, a job, or an unhealthy relationship, even a relationship that seemingly works; yet it apparently doesn’t for a variety of reasons.
It’s the feeling in your gut that something just isn’t right. It’s the fact that even if your job is going well, you have a feeling of dissatisfaction. It’s not the proverbial ‘grass is always greener’; it’s something more. It’s deeper than that. You start wondering what and where you can go next to feel fulfilled. You might ask ‘what can I do differently to ease the discomfort that I’m feeling?’
So, you seek change, and more often than not, it does work…until it’s time to keep moving forward. Towards finding that next project, that next job, the next home remodeling project. Life is in constant movement, and I realized I had to be too.
So here I was seeking more change, after a long career, having been financially successful for the companies I worked for, and having been well rewarded for that success. Like many people on a spiritual journey, I came to recognize that wealth comes and it goes. Boy does it go. As I contemplated leaving this job, I was just ending a period of my life where I knew that I had narrowly escaped declaring bankruptcy on a discontinued restaurant venture. I finally felt free of my financial burdens and was ready to do something for myself again.
And so, in mid-January 2013, as I sat at JFK airport having dinner with my corporate boss, words came out of my mouth that I hadn’t really planned to say. We were heading to LA to evaluate a potential publishing acquisition. My boss thought that if our acquisition bid was successful, I would be tapped to head up marketing at the multi-title magazine publisher. His thinking was that the new company was surely a step up from the significantly smaller firm that I was managing. And so, he laid out his thoughts on how things could work. Almost out of the blue, like someone had taken over my mouth, I blurted out that I wasn’t interested in that opportunity, having ‘been there, done that’.
In essence, I let him know that I had no interest in taking on that new role. I had run a large marketing team at a publisher in Milwaukee several years earlier, where I was ultimately responsible for revenues exceeding $200 million a year. At that moment, I simply wasn’t interested in taking on a new more challenged opportunity. I’d potentially be relocated to LA, where I had no desire to live, and I envisioned the required time commitment would have prevented me from ever having a social life outside of work. Besides, I somehow said, ‘I’m thinking of resigning my current position’.
Oh crap, why did I say that?! I had no defined plan for what my next steps were. Yes, I had always felt the pull to be ‘of service,’ and to work more spiritually as a healer or a teacher, but I wasn’t ready! Was I? Suddenly, the cat was out of the bag, and the pressure immediately increased to when I would be leaving, and where I was going to go. After several days of discussion, we ultimately agreed on a June 30th transition date for me to step down from my current position.
To be truthful, I had been having thoughts about moving west to Sedona, Arizona. I first went there on a spiritual retreat in 2008 after closing my restaurant business. Following that initial trip, I had gone back for a week in early 2012 and now as 2013 began, I guess I was considering a move there! So, it might be wise to check out Sedona again before I commit to it, I thought.
While I still didn’t know exactly what I wanted to do, I did know that my inner ‘voice’ was telling me it was time to take the next step on my journey, and move somewhere else…and I made plans to do just that on faith.